She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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