Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
