I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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