I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
