he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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