Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
