hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
