Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
