Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
