She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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