that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
