White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
