It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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