So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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