Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
there is glitter all over my balls
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
