she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
