No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
