Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
