So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Drake has all the answers
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
