i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
