So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
