Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
