Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I have demons in me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
