oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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