i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
