Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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