I'm drive I can fine osifer
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
