Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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