My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
