I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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