it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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