but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
