I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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