i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i came on her dog
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She's the barista slut.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
