there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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