Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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