no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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