They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
