woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
