Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
