How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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