I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
