please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
