I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
