do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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