My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
