I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
