Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this beer tastes like vomit already
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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