bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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