She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
