Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
